JEAN LUC’S EULOGY FOR SAMANTHA

SPLITTING THE ATOM-OR FORGING A NEW LIFE?

Nichiren Daishonin described the Hiyoku as a two-headed fish when a couple are married.

Are we separate now? No, not ever.

The character of Sam affects us all: her gentle calmness, a sense of well being. Who here ever felt uncomfortable in her presence? Even during her disease? But also before….. and during her trials….

Did you know of her struggles? An appalling taste for Kid Creole and the Coconuts. A theatre set falling on her at the Comedy theatre at age19. Meeting me at 22. Repetitive strain injury at 23 from wood carving at Thornhill galleries in Putney as the only girl. And then at 23 deciding to go out with me, who immediately vacated her affections for Jamaica for 6 months.

She then went to Brian Duffy Galleries in the mid 1990s , putting furniture together for another cantankerous man. Eventually, she decided to live in Ross with me, ending up with a penchant for fluffy slippers. And finally, and most successfully, she qualified as a counsellor for kids at Hope; a revolutionary charity based in Ross for teenagers with family or friends suffering terrible health issues.

She then got cancer. You couldn’t make it up.

Did any of you know of this complete package? Did you know of how proud you should be to know all this of her, and her humanity through it all? It isn’t a coincidence such luck can be bestowed upon one human being in 30 years. Perhaps she “took one “ for a few of us? She must have been something bad in a previous life; perhaps a cockroach or a politician? No wonder Buddhism was the way….

Her grace and dignity and positivity for others was always there. Even whilst she often wrestled within, where a lack of confidence resided.

Her love for her children and a simple life is what drove her on during the counselling training before Hope, then through the dark days of diagnosis, treatment, tiredness, and compromise.

Yet she allowed people in, always gave the talkers time. WHAT a listener. We talk too much don’t we? But she listened-my goodness she listened.

I had a breakdown in the Maldives in 2009 and she talked me through whilst I was stuck in “Paradise”, suffering stress. She got me back on trains to meetings over 6 months- slowly, calmly, wisely, and silently without asking for anything.

See her through her friends. The things they gave back during the disease. Ann, Michelle, Nok, and more and more……WHAT friends. They reflect her so very well. Thank you.

See her through her love of her kids, and what they’ve become. I am the child, they are the adults. They are wise, so very wise before their time. They listen, they love they facilitate. And I’m part of that of course, and the beneficiary. What a fantastic future we’ll have!

See you all gathered here today, and love to you all. Please – and this of course is the hardest and easiest thing to say: look at your partners, friends, and loves. Love them more, today, SAY YES MORE, and say it with confidence, because each and every one of you is good, and does good. I’m here to tell you from her – through me, her conduit.

Now let’s celebrate her life. We’ll cry, we are crying, but as Sam would have done, feel the beauty of every leaf fall, every season, every occasion, every smile from a stranger. And even see the beauty in those you wouldn’t be drawn to – they all have something, qualities you don’t have.

So Sam, somehow I hope you meet Charlotte again, and have the most beautiful and refreshing white wine spritzer with her. She has been waiting oh so patiently. You deserve it.

As Atticus Finch says: “don’t fear sadness, some live long never feeling anything at all”